"If you don't think this is the most beautiful car
engined trike ever built, you can suck my knob!" Captain Penis, 1994.
Most of you will be familiar with my 'Preying Mantis' trike kits. The first VW trike we built back in 1982, Old No I, was born of desperation (excuse the pun), it was the old story - a Chopper Club run was looming, and no wheels. Even way back then I was a professional hoarder, and sitting in different parts of the workshop were enough mechanical components to construct a suitable machine. The first Preying Mantis was built. So named because of its appearance, it was the first British production trike not to feature a glassfibre body hiding an inadequate chassis. It was also supercharged. Its trial run was a six hundred mile round trip straight out of the workshop. No tax, no MoT (no time). One of the plugs fouled up, cutting it down to three cylinders. I still managed to urge it up to 85mph on the A1(M) near Doncaster. The engine cleared itself, and I overtook an old couple in a Morris Minor with my front wheel six foot in the air. it won the show and the production version was born. Not because I launched a sales pitch -people wanted one. Old No 1 is still on the road and lives in the Yarmouth area where it was born.
Only about half a dozen Mkl versions were ever built. They looked beautiful but 1 wanted a stronger chassis, hence Mk2s had a box section front. The Mk3 was a stretched version of-Mk2, giving more room for rider and passenger. To date, over two hundred have left my workshops, nearly all Preying Mantis trikes have castors. They sure wheelie, but only if you want them to. Having said that, wheelies are one of the bonuses of owning a VW trike. Trike owners are posers, and I'm the worst! But it's no fun having a trike you daren't use first gear on (one whose name sounds remarkably like Penis springs to mind). I was also determined to build trikes which each look different (unlike the Penis type). To this end, only the front section is built in a jig, while the rest is handmade. History lesson over. How did the Mk4 come about?

meant cutting off the front mount and upping it two inches and remaking the rear mounts. Urethene mounts were used to stop the engine rocking too much. Once the basic chassis was done, I knew I was onto something good. I had the same feeling building my favourite trike of all time, Lowlife, a supercharged Goldwing (BSH 43). I was determined to cut no comers. Fuck the expense.
The fuel tanks are polished sixteen gauge stainless steel. The internals are quite complicated; the rear one feeds into the front one via 1 1/2-inch pipes. There are also a series of breathers and bleed pipes to stop the fuel pouring out of the rear-mounted filler cap - and to stop fuel starvation when I wheelying. I had decided to show off, engineering-wise, with this one. The two-by-one box section brace for the forward controls also holds the hydraulic fluid for the clutch and rear brakes. The front brake hose splits in the slab yokes, and the speedo is sunk into them. The handlebars are handmade, with billet ally grips. Guides for the Goodridge; hydraulic clutch with a mini slave cylinder; chromed radiator hoses; oil cooler. 175bhp drag racing motor. Trick rear suspension. Twin steering dampers. Twin mini-Bates. Jap handlebar switches converted to one-inch. Careful choice of radiator and oil cooler. Stainless pulley covers. Tons of stainless. Every nut and bolt chromed. Goodridge everywhere. Combined oil pressure/water temperature gauge (cost over fifty quid!). Internally baffled exhaust system. Every screw on the carbs chrome plated. Polished cylinder head (yes - we stripped the motor to do it!) Fearsome rake. Chrome, chrome and more chrome ...
You may be getting the idea I've fallen in love with this machine. Correct. It doesn't happen very often. For a professional customiser to fall in love with a machine is very rare. 1 loved Lowlife. 1 love my Indian, ninety-five percent of the work in Captain Penis is by my own hand. Flair and Oz did little bits, but not because I wanted them to. This photo shoot was fast approaching and time was running out. My son Matt did all the machining, and my other son James had to clean it. When it came to chrome time, I knew the volume of polishing would affect my customers' work, so I shipped a brilliant metal polisher, Andy Warwick (Mr Potato Head) down from Newcastle for two weeks. Mind you, ] still had to get Ferret (Mr Computer Cabbage) to do a bit. I even polished some parts myself - note crap job on front master cylinder. Towards the end of the build, we were doing a trip to the platers every day, waiting while parts that had barely cooled from the polishing process were dipped. The last bits were bolted on half an hour before these pictures were taken.
With the trike as yet unregistered, we shoved the front wheel in the back of my motor. Flair strapped it to the armrests on the doors, so effectively it was held in by four self-tappers. After the static shots were taken, it was time for my First go on it - which comprised of a mega wheelie (what it was designed for, hence the businesslike wheelie bars}. Luckily, I've ridden so many trikes it just seems natural. I did 14.2 miles on this shoot - 13.7 were on the rear wheels only - and it runs arrow straight (Ta, Tescos!). Everything works spot on. But now, after several years of building other people's machines, I have that urge to get out and play.
If after reading this, you get the impression that this trike is a result of heavy cheque writing, you would be absolutely correct. The only problem is, I'm the same as you lot. This morning I got a letter from NatWest telling me I've gone over my overdraft limit and am now paying 29.5% interest. In actual fact, it's the result of 'Ostrich Syndrome'. Write the cheque and hide. It's the result of bloody hard work and irresponsibility. Please order one so I can shut my fucking bank manager up.
Why Captain Penis? One of my customers, Colin Bond, came to party one weekend. He was on his GS850 trike and was wearing the most brilliant leather flying helmet. It looked just like a knob. 'Hello Captain Penis', Oz said. 1 had already had the lettering done for this trike, it was really tasteful and 1 was going to call it 'Cardiac Arrest'. Ferrets bike now bears that name, although he won't know it til he gets his chop out to go home tonight!

ENGINE: 2 litre DOHC Fiat/Lancia. High compression head, ported and polished inlets. Two twin-choke Dellorto carbs, high lift cams, extractor manifold, I75bhp. CLUTCH: Heavy duty, extra large friction plate. Converted to hydraulic operation. A&P racing master cylinder. gearbox: vw Beetle 1600CC with special adaptor plate to take motor. Urethene racing mounts. WHEELS: chrome 12x15 Chevrolet BRAKES: New 5-stud drums with vw to Chevy adaptor plates. A&P racing master cylinder, , Lockheed remote servo assisted. Twin disc front.....

FRONT-END: FJ1200 Yamaha, billet aluminium wideglide, twin adjustable steering dampers. 500x16 front wheel, cut down flatbobbed fender.
FUEL TANKS: Twin stainless, capacity @ 7 gallons. FJ1200 electric fuel pump.
SEATS: Naugahyde.
RADIATOR: Rebuilt Austin Allegro.
OIL COOLER & FANS: Unknown superbike from A5 breakers (L/Buzzard 210090).
CHASSIS: Desperate Dan's Preying Mantis Mk4 Spaceframe chassis, fully TIG welded. Three sets of shock absorbers. 45 rake. Urethene torque arm bushes. Polyester coated. parachute: Canberra Bomber Drogue 'chute.
CALCULATED TOP SPEED: 160mph.