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Submitted By Nabzy
have just read the depression stories, and i must write and tell you how lucky i feel to have met my second wife verity.
I met my first wife when i was 19 she was my life we both rode bikes (i taught her and was so proud).we had a house not much but i was so happy .i worked in a factory she took cheap voluntary work to get experience and also went to college for our future.she made new friends. and one day told me she needed a break from me and went to stay at her mum and dads.even now after nearly ten years it still breaks me up, just writing brings all of it back and i sit here trying not to cry.i eventually left our home left every thing to her except my bike and our debts .hang in there and i will get to the point .i met verity at a bike do and everything was great except i didnt really talk about my past .verity knew because she also knew some of my mates .i just bottled things inside nothing is ever wrong with me ....i now live about ten miles from my home city in a small town.. we married . verity has four boys and money is tight i say i can do without a bike.i.never wanted to be a dad but her lads are good lads so thats ok and we get on .then one day verity falls pregnant even though its impossible ,i am as proud as punch who would have thought it , a few weeks later the baby goes ectopic (think thats the word) our world crashes to a halt .i gradually withdraw further from my mates in my home town with out even knowing it .i still have my old job now get a in a car with a guy from work .i.even start to withdraw from work mates and one day i just cant go out the front door .im ready with jacket on and sarnies in hand and cant physically open the door then the tears start. this was the first verity knew about how sad i was inside but i still wouldnt tell her that i was so pissed of with life. i can handle this i dont need to talk to anyone about it .so i did just that and virtually stopped talking to everyone didnt go out unless made to . verity stayed with me and worked because i lost my job all though they where very understanding.she eventually made me go too the doctor, he puts me on pills and my life still starts to get better.i still have this thing that is like a living creature inside me and some times he comes out and paints the inside of my head black. i still have days where i dont talk and sometimes i make veritys life hell but she is still there for me even if i still dont talk about what is hurting me .sorry to ramble on but this is the first time i have said any of this to any body what so ever . Nabzy.
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